ABJ the jet setter

This weekend we loaded up our Bell and took her eastbound to Bella Vista, AR. We spent a few days with Big Brother and Randi-Doll. They live on Lake Windsor with just a beautiful view. 

As we were preparing for our weekend away I started pacing things I didn't think we could llive without. Well, that made the Jeep crammed full. We couldn't have fit another person. I might be a slight over packer. Hey, I'm new to this mom stuff. I packed what I thought was a million diapers (we had to buy more), her swing because she can get a little rowdy without it, her pack & play to sleep in, books, all the diapering/feeding essentials,  about 55 onesies, pjs & swaddlers (for those just in case moments) and her tummy time mat. You know just the necessities. 

After a 2.5 hour ride in which my sweet angel slept, we made it safe & sound without the slightest cry. It was a vacation miracle. After enjoying the beautiful chilly evening we rested & rose early for a nice walk in the Ozarks, a morning of baking while the boys fished, girl time laying out while the boys played Daddy day care, then we finished the day with a shrimp boil. Just the best time ever. We topped the trip off with girls shopping & boys kayaking. 

The weekend was just great & ABJ was a rockstar with traveling. I hope this means our future ventures are bright. 

Hibdon's Mini Me

We are approaching week #6 of my little Bells. She's growing into a Hibdon-Baby and less of a Gerber Baby. Speaking of Hibdon, she looks JUST like him. She is his mini me. I never knew that rugged, whiskery faced, baseball playing, hunting, fishing, beer drinkin' man could also make a gorgeous little girl. He did they and she's just a pretty as can be. Sometimes as I am walking by her sleeping or playing on her tummy time mat, I am stopped in my tracks at how much I love that pretty little girl.

She is gorgeous & communicates very well. As in every wet/dirty diaper, hunger pains, overstimulation, understimulation, gas pain, cold chill or rise in temperature she lets out a cry. Some are soft whimpers & others are loud lung clearing whales. 

She has a million facial expressions, but my favorite is her cute little smile. She just started smiling & looking at me when I baby talk. Just melt my heart. 

I just can't get enough of her & take at least 10 pictures a day. Here's my photo dump for week 6. 

Sweeeeeeeet baby time 

Goodnes that grin!!!

Finding our tongue.

She looks like Unkie Wil here!

The Funnies

One of my best memories of staying with my dad is his delightful breakfast in the morning. It would be accompanied with the morning paper. As a kid I typically grabbed the sports section and the comic section. We called it the funnies. For the past month I feel as if I have been living the funnies....

As a first time mom, baby of the family with a husband that is a first time dad & also baby of the family, we are clueless. Like this crap is brand spankin new. 

Now I agree with most, its amazing how natural things come to you, but it's still pretty foreign. I often text all of my mommy friends, call my mom, ask my SIL, call her doctor, and/or call my doctor...it seriously takes a village. 

For the past month we have done some pretty funny things. Here's some highlights..

1) About every day: get a cute outfit, show her off to Daddy, she pees on it & me. Wardrobe change!

2) I used to make Hibdon get out of bed to make sure she was breathing about 3 times a night. Now I threaten his life if he makes a sound that could  wake her. 

3) We used to set our alarms for every 3 hours in case she didn't wake up for a feeding time. Um yeah we were able to stop that pretty quickly.

4) I feel like I get breast milk on everything. In my sleep deprived state I don't get my nursing pads on correctly & soak through my shirt. She spits up most feedings. I'm still getting used to pumping & not feeling like I spray everywhere.

5) Did I mention I am no longer modest about the fact that I breast feed? Openly men with wives that breast feed ask me how it's going. As women we talk about our boobs like its no big deal. Everyone knows when I go to "nurse" her in a room alone my boobs are all out. 

6) I went to my hair appointment. We ran late, it was close to a feeding time. ABJ about had a heart attack & Hibdon about lost it. I was literally pulling my way out of the chair as she was finishing my trim (not smart). As we get home, I remind Hibdon that babies cry & she will be okay. Yeah that little motherly advice has been thrown back at my at least 5 times.

7) My baby has gas problems. She struggles to pass it. Gets red in the face & strains really hard. Makes me so sad. Then she screams bloody murder. We started supplementing gripe water & gas drops. No she freely passes gas. Anywhere & everywhere, no person is off limits. She's a classy one.

8) Car rides can be brutal. She hates her car seat. She falls asleep quickly, but you have about a 30 min window before she freaks the freak out. That's when I sing my best, loudest, change my pitch frequently of This Little Light of Mine.

9) Me: Can you take her downstairs?

Hibdon (waking from a slumber): ok, yeah, can't you?

Me: I can, but I have nursed her all night every two hours, I've been peed on twice, pooped on once, I'm starving & thirsty. I'm so exhausted & all I want to do is go pee...Yep the highlight of my motherhood.

10) After I feed her I pull her close & try to burp her. She always arches her back to stretch & puts both arms around my neck. It's like a mini Bella hug. It melts my heart. (Okay, not that funny, but it's still a highlight that I can't get enough of). 

She's the best gassy, peeing, pooping, screaming, grunting, milky...she's really the best. 

Daddy's Last Week

Dear AnnaBella,

At this very moment you are draped across my body sound asleep. Daddy is laying right next to us on the couch. One of you will grunt and the other snores. It's a little loud for such sweet sleepers. This has been the scene here and there in the Hibdon house for the past three weeks. Sadly, this will come to an end next Monday. Daddy goes back to work.

Let me tell you how lucky we are to have Daddy....

-In the hospital he changed all your diapers. You initiated him into fatherhood by day two. 

-Once we were home he kept us going. From still changing ever diaper, doing all the laundry, feeding Momma, making Momma green smoothies & taking care of the Maddy dog. 

-He has been at your every need.

-He takes the early shift with you. You snuggle in the recliner from 6-9 to let Momma sleep. 

-He painted the house with Gpa all weekend.

-He's been practicing songs to play on his guitar for you.

He's not ready to go back & we aren't ready for him to leave. We will miss our mid afternoon naps, early morning snuggles & constant serenades. He's a good Daddy & we should totally keep him around. 

Thankfully, he will have his first Father's Day at home with you. You bought him two braves hats, a new guitar pic that has been stamped "Daddy" & another big surprise that isn't ready to be public (just in case he reads this). 

So for the next 5 days soak up your Daddy time. Don't push away his whiskery kisses. Give him lots of smiles. Be good to him, he's our whole world. 

Baby Bell

Dear Baby Bell,

First off that is your nickname Daddy has been calling you, Baby Bell. Second off, this is the third night in a row you have been openly ready for bed at 9. Momma is a fan. Momma likes an early bedtime. 

While you are asleep, Momma is not. Why, you ask. Well, you makes the loudest, most bizarre noises when you are sleeping. First there's the deep breathing, a few squeaks, a little grunt, then a series of incredibly loud grunts. You also make a delayed grunt that sounds similar to a baby lamb. You then make swallowing noises & a few spit up sounds. I always fear you are spitting up & choking on it...nope...dry as a bone. 

I have plans to video this strange sound. Maybe someday Ill share it with you. I can't help but giggle thinking about the saying "sugar & spice & everything nice". Not that you aren't as sweet as can be & your kisses are perfect, but you do sound like a wounded animal when you sleep. A large animal at that, maybe a bear. That's the second nickname Daddy has for you Baby Bear. He likes to watch Nat Geo when he is up at 5:00 with you. He gets into a bear show & swears you give him a little Baby Bear grunt when it comes on.

You've been in this world 17 days. We've learned so much about you. You have cold feet & hands, but hate to be hot. You kick most blankets off. You love to be held, rocked, walked & sang too. You love the outside. When you get too fussy to calm down, I step outside & instantly you are fine. You aren't a big fan of tummy time, but you work it like a champ. 

Momma sings to you often. Most of the time you become quiet & still. It's like you enjoy listening to me. I'm shocked because Momma can't carry a tune. I sing This Little Light of Mine, You are my sunshine, ABCs, Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Love the Little Children & The Itsy Bitsy Spider...over & over & over & over. One fussy day I threw in the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bellaire. You also like for Nana-Great to sing to you. Her songs are on lockdown & her time with you is precious. 

All your grandparents come see you often. They tell us how perfect you are. I love ya kid, but after hearing you scream bloody murder, I know you are not perfect. Aunt Aub loves to hold you, E gets a little jealous, but he loves you too. He's working on your name, but for now in his sweetest voice he calls you baby. 

17 days in & you're doing alright. We love you Baby Bell & are looking forward to the rest of our days together.

Kisses,

Momma

Grand Finale

I wrote the letter to my AnnaBella just hours before it was time to go in. The rest of the day seemed like minutes. I would relive them over and over every single day if I could. I'd stop each moment and take a mental picture of every single person I shared it with, especially every second of Hibdon & AnnaBella. 

We arrived about 20 minutes early, this is a really big deal to Hibdon & I, we are both late by nature. We typically arrive right on time or 5 minutes late. Not for AnnaBella, we couldn't wait to meet her. On the way there I thought I might get emotional, a little nervous or chatty. We both were calm, we had no idea what to expect & talked openly about not being nervous or anxious because we just didn't know. 

As we arrived the staff happily greeted us & showed us to our preop/recovery room. They got me all checked in, poked, strapped up & laid down. Handed Hibdon his scrubs & said "buzz if you need anything & Daddy be sure to put those on by 7". The next couple of hours were filled with nurses in & out. Everything from operation, nursery & lactation. They were all incredibly sweet, knowledgeable, & just kind for us first timers. By 6:30 I was able to shut my eyes & by 7 they were there & ready for me. As I got into the surgical room I was overwhelmed by roughly 10 people in scrubs. There was music playing that I didn't recognize. I thought about making a request for something Red Dirt, but then I realized that music may be helping my doctor get in the zone. 

I was sat on the table in a room that felt to be 20 below zero, I shivered uncontrollably, they gave me warm blankets & had me assume my position. My anesthesiologist was AMAZING, he said to be ready for a good sting & then I should feel my feet go numb. I felt nothing more than a flu shot sting & with about 10 seconds numb toes. 

They laid me on the table & got everything prepped. Once they were ready they quickly ushered Hibdon in. He looked a little overwhelmed when he walked in. Dr. N pointed to my head & said "That side of the curtain Big Daddy". Hibdon grabbed my hand & I started to feel pressure. I then had a sharp pain in my neck, I quickly told the anaesthiologist. He reassured me that was normal & gave me a play-by-play. He said "oh I see two cute little feet", the pressure got worse. "There's the body", more pressure. "Here comes the head", pressure was gone. 

The nurse motioned for Hibdon to snap a quick pic. Then she said he could come with her. The anaesthiologist told me how beautiful she was. I laid there as they began to sew me up. Finally, Hibdon came in with ABJ! I cried uncontrollably & he brought her in for our first kiss. The nurses didn't miss a beat & snapped as many pics as possible. They quickly went into another room & I waited & cried. The anaesthiologist gave me gauze & apologized for not having kleenexes. 

Finally, they finished and got me right into my recovery room. In that room sat my whole world. The man of my dreams holding my sweet princess. I held her & loved every second. Hibdon laid her on my chest, she instantly began to nurse & we snuggled for a good hour. After Hibdon & I soaked up our new sweet little family, our parents & siblings came in. They raved, held, kissed & were in awe of sweet AnnaBella Jane. 

AnnaBella Jane weighed in at 8lbs 3oz and 20" long. She has a full head of dirty blonde hair, it's even long in the back. Her chubby cheeks look just like her Daddy's baby pic. When she smiles Hibdon says she looks like me. 

We spent the weekend having loads of visitors. I worked on recovering from a csection & Hibdon worked on his diaper changing skills. We were pretty cozy in our hospital room. 

We had the best nurses we could ask for. The night nurse was a bit chatty, but as kind & supportive as could be. We were sad when she was off duty. The day nurse was a little more to the point, she has four kids. She gave me the best compliment at the end of our stay. She said, " you sure don't act like a first time mom. You are so relaxed & picked up nursing so easily". I quickly reminded her that she keeps me well supplied on pain medicine. She laughed & told me I would be just fine.

That I am, just fine. Everything is more than I could ever imagine.

PS it took me 3 attempts to write this post & now I'm finishing it after a 2:30 feeding. Of course I'm wide awake, quietly listening for AnnaBella's little grunts & breathing. Life is good. 

May 17th, 2013

Dear AnnaBella,

It's 3:09 am on Friday, May 17th, 2013. Today is more special than I can describe. I've been waiting on this day for quite some time. All day yesterday I thought about this day. I cleaned the entire house to keep me from going crazy for this day. I've been up at least 5 times from 10 pm until now. My alarm is set for 4 am, I'm watching the clock. 

I'm sure by now you recognize the date. This is the morning of your birth. You are a breech baby & require a c-section. You have been scheduled on a calendar of when I get to meet you. Daddy & I have been counting down the days to May 17th. We've been preparing our home, our lives & praying like crazy for God to prepare our hearts. I don't even know you yet & I love you. I've yet to feel a motherly instinct for real, but I'm dieing inside. The anxiety of meeting you is almost unbearable.

 I'm ready to hear your cry, this will be your voice to Daddy & me for quite some time. I'm ready to look into your eyes, I'm sure they are perfectly made. I can't wait to kiss your cheeks, they are most certainly round & needing affection. I keep thinking about holding you tiny hand & how perfectly Daddy & I's finger will fit. Your feet will need kisses as well, they are probably itching to be tickled by Daddy. I can't wait to see every single inch of you.

I have been given advice after advice on how to relax & get plenty of sleep, but it's not practical. They only thing I do have down is breathe, pray, repeat. I am not worried about the lack of sleep. I'm certain I will be used to the lack of sleep one month from now. I'm also certain that I will never sleep soundly again. 

Right now you are in my womb, protected from all. Daddy & I can keep a very close eye on you. When you enter this world we will loose the ability to keep you from all harm moment by moment. This breaks my heart. The only & most powerful thing I can do is breathe, pray & repeat. I will trust that God will protect you, keep you healthy, guide you & give you unconditional love. I pray you will always know this.

I want you to I know I love your Daddy more than I ever knew possible to love someone. Out of this amazing love we created you, God gave us you. Last night, as Daddy said the prayer he said "thank you for blessing us with AnnaBella". We will never stop praying that prayer. 

I don't even know you yet & you are my world. I don't even know you yet & my heart is full. I don't even know you yet & you complete me. I don't even know you yet & I can't wait to meet you.

In 3.5 hours, my life will change. So will yours. I'll see your face. I'll know every inch of you for the rest of your life.

I love you,

Momma